To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth

My husband and I waited 7yrs for my son. I can’t count the times I was asked when I planned starting a family, once in a job interview! A family member wondered if we needed an instruction manual.

After we had my son, we were never blessed again. For the 1st ten years or so there were comments about “When are you going to try again” but these slowly trickled off. When people note that we have only one child, I am often informed that only children are difficult adults and selfish people. The view that I am some how broken and that is why we didn’t get a matched set is sometimes implied. People can be so darned rude. Thank goodness for grey hair, I don’t have to deal with the busy bodies that feel it’s their business to mind my business…

Our boy is all grown up now, and we are very proud of him, he is a fine person.

However, recently I had a conversation with a good friend who has chosen not to have children. She feels pressure to explain her choice. Why should she have too? I like dogs, but do I want one? No. I have two cats, should I suggest you need a cat too? Up to you ;0)

Tales from the Mommy Trenches

I met you in the elevator on my way back from the pediatrician’s office. It was just me and Wren, and you looked at her fondly in her stroller. When the elevator doors opened, you very kindly held the doors open for me. As I clumsily maneuvered the stroller past you, I accidentally ran over your foot. “Don’t worry about it,” you assured me over my profuse apologies. “I have three children myself,” you revealed to me. My eyes traveled to your big belly. There was an awkward pause as I wondered if I could assume she was pregnant. “And I’m expecting my fourth,” you admitted. “Congratulations!,” I tell her. “That is wonderful!” I see the relief spread across her face. “Thank you!” she says, and I could tell she meant it. “You have no idea how many people offer their condolences when they find out this is my fourth…

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